This morning, as my husband and I were lying in bed, playing with our little Pineapple and preparing for our day, the dog ran in and joined us. Leaping up on the bed, our little Shitzu-pom mix tenderly dropped his ball in front of my husband and tapped it with his foot to make the squeaky noise…thus indicating that it was time to play.
At this point, our baby girl (AKA Pineapple) squealed in delight and we thought “what a cute baby we have!”….then my husband started playing games with the dog….
“Sit, Giles!” – puppy promptly sits
“Speak, Giles!” – puppy promptly barks
“Go potty, Giles!” – puppy runs out sliding doors to do his business in yard…
then we turn to Pineapple….
“Sit, Pineapple!” – baby falls over
“Speak, Pineapple!” – blank stares from baby
“Go potty, Pineapple!” – too late – diaper already full.
This is when we came to a sad but true realization. At this point in time, the dog is smarter than the baby. On command, the dog will sit, speak, fetch his toys, run outside to use the bathroom and balance (which is scarily close to standing and walking). Contrarily, Pinapple has not fully mastered sitting without falling (much less standing or “balancing”), balks at her own toys in favor of those belonging to the dog, and not only is she not potty trained in the least, she REVELS in smooshing around in her own nasty caca pants.
Granted, the dog has a few years on our 8 month-old baby and inevitably, she will bypass him in the intellect department over the coming months and years but for the time being, the intelligence score in our house looks something like this:
Dog 1, Pineapple 0
And to make matters worse, we’re pretty sure her first word will be “puppy”…*sigh*