The Walk of a Thousand Poops

To continue the “poo theme” this poor blog seems to be suffering from, I had to add this post…

Yesterday evening DH, Pineapple, Giles (the dog) and I all headed out for a nice walk through the neighborhood. It started out wonderfully – weather was perfect (a clear 75 degrees), timing was right (traffic was nonexistant), and we were headed to our favorite brew pub (The Lucky Lab – allows dogs to sit outside) for a pint. We had a wonderful time enjoying the evening at a picnic table and watching Pineapple go nuts over all the puppies at the pub – all the while stuffing her face with puffs, corn, and turkey bits.

The “Walk of a Thousand Poops” began on the way home…

We were about halfway to the house when Giles pulled over to the side in a nice grassy spot to “do his business.” Only, the business didn’t happen. There we were, bag in hand, prepared to be responsible pet owners and nothing happened. So, we moved along. About 20 feet down the road, he pulled over to another grassy spot – AH! here it is, we thought…but alas, no “business.” Again we started on our way…another 20 feet along and he stops AGAIN! At this point, I’m wondering what the heck is going on when DH, where a decidedly depressed expression, announces “Oh no…it’s the walk of a 1000 poops! Ugh!”

Now honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about but cracked up from the imagery. DH went on to explain that on a few walks he’s taken with the puppy in the past, said puppy has had a bit of trouble “doing his business.” DH informed me that when this happens, Giles will stop every 10-20 feet or so to attempt to go potty. I found this completely hilarious. (I think I’ve pointed out before that I am a 5-year old at heart, so potty humor is endlessly funny to me.)

We spent the next 15 minutes of our walk stopping every few feet and watching our poor puppy hunch over and strain to no avail. As we neared the house, he began scooting on the ground…creating quite a mess on his backside. Which I also found hilarious because we had agreed at the start of our walk that when we returned to the house DH was giving Giles a bath.

As I carried Pineapple inside, DH maneuvered Giles through the back gate and toward the waterhose. From that point on, all I heard was cursing and griping from the backyard. Between giggles, I explained to Pineapple what Daddy was up to…and because she’s only 10 months old, I figured I’d better walk out there and show her. After a warning to DH to watch the language, Pineapple and I joined him.

Holy crap on a cracker.

I haven’t laughed that hard in MONTHS. There was poor DH dry heaving and practically LIFTING the puppy off the ground by his tail while spraying the hose at his bottom. It smelled worse out there than Pineapple’s diaper pail – and that’s saying something!

By the end of the night, Giles was clean and all was right with the world once again. And I fell asleep with a grin on my face as I thought of DH’s face when he declared we were on “the walk of a thousand poops.” Priceless.

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