This is 1 Amazing Pineapple!

Wow. Just wow. My teensy, weensy, unbelievably amazing Pineapple is 1 year old today. Hang on a sec…*sniffs loudly – nose honking noises*…OK, I’m back.

In honor of this special occasion, I thought I’d share a little bit about what was happening at this time last year. I apologize in advance for any TMI moments in this post and I hope you enjoy this peek into a Pineapple’s beginning…

One year ago today, DH and I were informed by the doctor that he would be inducing me that evening. I was exactly 40 weeks pregnant and looked about 400 weeks preganant and I gotta be honest – I was just ready to get that prickly Pineapple OUT! We had to wait until midnight, so DH and I went home to kill time…by watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy – back to back – for the rest of the day. (Yes, we are giant nerds – if you haven’t figured that out yet, then you just haven’t been paying attention…moving on.)

At 11:45PM, we headed out the door, little suitcase in tow and car seat in hand. We pulled up to the hospital and I wouldn’t get out of the car. I was terrified. I knew I was in for a world of hurt but I was also just ready for it to be over. So I sat in the passenger seat with DH holding my hand while Nina Simone sang to us about sugar and bowls (we also have good taste in music). He finally encouraged me to get out of the car and I waddled my way to the door. He also insisted on taking my picture just outside of the ward next to the sign. *sigh*

Once we were in and settled and I’d been administered my IV (the nurse poked me 5 times before she got it in – my veins roll – it sucks) they started giving me meds to induce me. It was fine at first. And then it wasn’t. The woman that was inserting the pill designed to help move the process along was a masochist. I actually told her to please go away at one point.

DH was shocked. I have a general rule when it comes to people that take care of my medical needs and serve my food – I am overly polite, will memorize their names and inquire about their children. I worked in the service industry and I have family in the medical field – word to the wise, be nice to these people. They can make your life hell…moving on…again…

Several hours later, I was given some sort of lovely shot because I was in a bit of pain. It was wonderful. OH – I should have said before – I am not a natural childbirth kinda girl – *grin.* However, about 30 minutes later, I woke up – must have dozed off – with DH gently shaking my shoulder, to find my hands gripping the rails of the bed – in my sleep. I was in PAIN!!! This was when DH frantically ran out to the nurse’s station and asked someone to get my epidural.

That was an experience. Apparently two of my vertebrae are very close together – just so happens it’s the exact two where the epidural is inserted. Nice. So after explaining this to me, the anesthitist got started – and it was WEIRD. I could feel the extraordinarily thin tube rubbing against the bones or whatever. DH was holding my head and helping me stay still. This was the point he yelled out – “I need a chair…NOW “(he has an issue with needles – big old baby of a Marine). The nurse was so fast, I swear she was a Cullen, and the chair was under poor, poor DH because of course HE was the one going through this *ugh* and the nurse was holding onto me. Then it was over. And I couldn’t feel a thing. And God Bless numbing medication!

Several hours later, nothing was happening. It was almost 7PM – I’d been there 18 hours and was only dilated 1 centimeter. I sent the whole fam-damily out for food so I could rest. And that was the moment the doctor decided to tell me that there was no way this baby was coming out the way God intended and that a c-section was necessary…oh and they wanted to do that in 45 minutes. And everyone was gone. I figured, oh they’ll be back in time. Wrong. Half an hour later, I called DH – he was at Chili’s with the family – I informed him that he needed to get to the hospital because they were going to slice me open and pull the Pineapple out – and he asked me if he could finish his beer. No, we’re not divorced but my dad nearly knocked him out. Seriously though, DH was in a bit of a panic state. I think he was seriously freaking out.

About 5 minutes later, DH and my dad ran through the door – they’d run out of the restaurant – and the nurse informed DH that he needed to get ready by putting on the blue jumpsuit. He decided to wait. He sat in the rocker. His mom came in – she said “shouldn’t you put that outfit on?” And he said “I’ve got time.” Then the nurse walked in and said, “OK, let’s go” and he realized he didn’t have time. He changed – quickly. Did I mention he was panicky? And they began wheeling me out of the room.

They took me into the operating room and strapped my arms down to the table in a T form. I was later told that around this time, my doctor, who was 37 but looked 27, went out to tell my family the procedure was about to begin and not to worry – and my dad, who can be rather intimidating when he wants, glared at him and said “take care of my baby girl.” I know this happened because my doctor told me my dad was a little scary. (This is the same man who can often be found cleaning around the house while singing “I’m a Barbie Girl” – he was also a black belt – go figure.) So, after a moment of panic on my part during which I was afraid that I might feel the first cut, the c-section began.

It only lasted a few minutes. A few minutes of some odd tugging and pulling and feeling my body lifted off the table. A few minutes during which the doctors informed me Pineapple was wedged against my pelvic bone and wouldn’t have been able to be delivered no matter what they’d done. A few minutes during which I looked at DH, told him I was scared and he told me the same. A few minutes…and then a little, tiny cry. And my Pineapple was born. DH looked at her and looked at me and I swear he looked amazing. He looked amazed and amazing. Like he was literally lit up from the inside. I asked if I could see her and this tiny, squaling little thing was brought over. And she was beautiful. And she was amazing. And we were amazing. And we were a family.

The rest is unimportant. This was the moment. This was it. I had a new title. A new responsibility. A new opportunity. A new life. I was a mom. I am a mom.

I am a mom.

Happy Birthday, Pineapple. I do believe the world…it spins for you. Congratulations on your first trip around.

5 thoughts on “This is 1 Amazing Pineapple!

  1. Lisa says:

    What an amazing post! Full of emotions as I read it….I felt the nerves, the laughter (can I finish my beer? ROTFL!!!) and of course the tears of happiness. Brought back many memories of the moment of Cameron’s arrival (I’m sure it would’ve brought back memories of Makenna’s but I have none since I was knocked out lol). Thanks for sharing and helping me relive my own memories :-). Happy birthday Pinneapple!!!

    • Thanks, Liz! It has been a wild and crazy ride. I’m planning to do a post soon that will highlight some of our rockier moments and another to reflect on some of the more ridiculous parenting moments (i.e. when practicing diapering the baby on the teddy bear, DH put it on backward…twice). Hope you’re doing well!

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