Dream on Dreamer

DH and I both had eerily vivid dreams last night. Mine was horrific – frightening enough to scare Jason Voorhies – while DH’s was a bit more appropriate for our lifestyle. We just had a conversation about his dream. It went exactly something like this:

DH: So I had a dream last night that I got fired today.

Me: Really? Why?

DH: They thought I was faking a sick day and they said I had to pack my stuff and go. And so I gathered my things and started for home and I just kept thinking, how am I going to tell her?! And when I got home the house was empty and some stuff was missing, so I called your cell to tell you we’d been robbed and you said you were in a U-Haul on your way back home to Louisiana with the Pineapple and you were getting married!

Me: So, this is like your best day ever dream?

DH: Whatever. Anyway, so I found a job in Houston and moved down there to be closer to Pineapple and you – well, Pineapple, not you – but I never got to see her because I was always gone for work. And she called your new hubs “daddy.”

Me: Was he cute?

DH: Who?

Me: My NEW DH…was he cute?

DH: I don’t know – I never saw him. And it was so detailed – I even know how much we made on the house – well, you made on the house because you got all the money. It was awful.

Me: Not really.

DH: Why?

Me: Well, it doesn’t sound like I did too bad. I mean, I got the kid, I got all the money from the house, I got a new DH who was probably smokin’ hot – not that you’re NOT smokin’ hot – because you are…I bet he looked just like that cute guy from Heroes…or maybe Edward. *sigh*

DH: You are so mean.

Me: Not really – anyway – you know that dream could never be true. I would never leave you. I love you!

DH: I know – I love you, too.

Me: Unless I had an opportunity to become a vampire.

DH: ACK!

Big picture lesson here folks….DH is afraid of me. His first thought after losing his job was not “what will we do” or “how will I find a new job in this downturned economy?”…no, it was “HOW WILL I TELL HER?!” Mwah-ah-ah-ah…evil plan in full effect.

UPDATE: DH did not want me to post this. And now, he’s a wee, teensy bit upset with me and is requiring that I clarify one point. He says he’s not scared of me – it was more of a general “oh-crap-how-am-I-gonna-tell-her-we’re-moving-to-the-poorhouse-and-what-are-we-gonna-do” kinda moment.

But, dear readers, we know the truth. This man is terrified of me in all of my 5’3″, 110lb *cough* glory! (It’s my blog – I can lie about my weight all I want.)

9 thoughts on “Dream on Dreamer

  1. Maria says:

    If he’s scared of you, you will certainly live happily ever after. Congrats on that!! It takes a special woman to successfully make them be scurred of you!!

    • I think so, too. I mean, you can’t just have male creatures running rampant all over your home without any understanding about who is truly in charge…which is of course the mommy/wife/S.O. Sheesh. Silly men. 😉

  2. Sarah says:

    I like your disclaimer … I love you and would not leave you…well, unless I could become a vamp. Priceless.

    BTW on that nerd-dom note T-51 days

    • He and I have had this discussion so many times. We’ve agreed that if either one of us becomes a vampire, we would give the other 6 months to get in shape before chomping on them and turning them into our eternal mate. This is what loving husbands and wives do for each other.

      We also agree that Pineapple would have to wait until her mid-20’s because despite was Stephenie Meyers says, baby vamps are ooky.

      T-51 and COUNTING baby! Yahoo!

  3. Well, at least he reads. Renegade Dad could care less. I think he thinks this is my little hobby or something. He would probably read it if it was all about football, or fantasy football or Madden Football. I would have his full attention then. Maybe I should start making up wild tales and adventures involving him since he doesn’t read….hmmmmm….I am open to suggestions.
    ~RM1

    • The only reason he reads it is because I tell him he’s in it and it’s not favorable. Then he freaks when he sees the draft and says NO WAY and then I say “OK honey” and post it any way – as you can see. Then he’s FORCED to read it to see if I’ve posted it. ; )

      And for mine, it’s freaking World at War for the Wii. ACK!

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