The Journey Through Time Makes Me Want to Barf – Part V

…the end is nigh…(that means ‘near’ sinners)

After our night out, during which I did NOT get my butt kicked by a lady (and I use that term so loosely it may fall off of the page) I awoke to Pineapple pointing at me and yelling “Da Da!” While I thoroughly enjoy waking up to my Pineapple’s  weensy face, she can seriously get comfortable with an “mmm” sound any day now and maybe take the volume down a notch – particularly after mommy has had ‘tee many martoonis.’ Seriously.

DH was kind enough to tote her out to Granny and her cousin T who spent the night, as well, so we were able to grab an extra hour or so of much-needed sleep. When I finally crawled my terribly slightly hung over self out of bed and in the general direction of the coffee pot, I was greeted by Papa making waffles (God bless that man). He provided me with two piping hot cakes and I dove in with vigor – calories be damned – all the while listening to the noises of happy kiddos playing in Granny’s room. Until one of them screamed – and I’ll be darned if it wasn’t mine. So I SPRINTED across the living room and down the hall in my weakened state only to discover that little miss Princess Pineapple was throwing a fit because Granny was not allowing her to play in the toilet – or something equally ridiculous.

So I toted her grumpy butt back to the kitchen and fed her waffles – because I figured, if they were making me happy, they might work on her, too. Big surprise – they did the trick.

Shortly after breakfast, we decided it was time to head for home so we began the extensive process of loading up the car. I swear on everything holy, traveling with a toddler is the packing equivalent of moving across country anytime you’re going more that 20 miles. It took us over an hour and a half to load the car and get on the road.

DH drove and I sat in the passenger seat attempting to nap by drinking a cold Coca Cola and eating one of those Doritos snack bags – the kind with twisties and Doritos and pretzels – you know the kind. This proved to be a less than effective method of getting some zzz’s so I grabbed a pillow and a blanket. Pineapple was napping quietly in back but all I managed was about 15 minutes. Why is that? Why is it that when you really want to nap – and you CAN nap – because you have the time – you can NEVER fall asleep? (Although, to be fair, I should mention here – because I forgot this for the previous post – the afternoon before we went gallivanting around the bars in JD, I took a very nice nap with Pineapple – super snuggly.) So DH and I held a very quiet conversation.

Our drive to JD includes the scenic byway in eastern Oregon known as  “The Journey Through Time” (hence the title). It encompasses the Picture Gorge, John Day, Fossil, Dayville and several other little towns, areas, and viewpoints. DH refers to this drive as a “driver’s drive.” I refer to it as “the barf-a-thon.” While this drive is beautiful (some areas are stunning, if I’m being honest) it is so friggin’ curvy and NOT friendly for folks who have a tendency toward motion sickness…like me.

I would trade a lot of maladies for nausea. I hate being nauseous. In my opinion it was one of the WORST things about pregnancy – and sorry to all those ladies that lurve being preggo, but I did not enjoy it and there were a lot of things that fall in the ‘bad’ category. I was seriously very, very, very nauseous nearly the entire trip – to the point that I took a pregnancy test when we got home – it was negative – AMEN. And don’t try to blame the snacks and waffles like DH did – it wasn’t their fault – it was that darned winding road. My nemesis.

We arrived home 5 hours later (yes, 5 whole hours) a bit worse for the wear but glad to be there. And the cat (who spent the weekend trapped in the garage with her litter box, self feeder and watering dish, squishy kitty bed, and cozy kitty kennel – TOTAL hell, let me tell you) was very happy to see us – showing her excitement by yowling at us as we unloaded the car. She’s a Jem, that cat.

Anyway, alls well that ends well. Given that this was my first attempt at an episodic post, I’m just glad THIS PROCESS is over. Not sure if I’ll be adopting it again anytime soon. There have been so many other things I’ve wanted to share and talk about during the time it has taken me to post these but I felt obligated to see it through (stupid sense of responsibility to my few but valued readers).

I hope you enjoyed it. I’m no JRR Tolkien or George Lucas but I do my best.


5 thoughts on “The Journey Through Time Makes Me Want to Barf – Part V

  1. Your writing cracks me up! I am also prone to puking, so I feel your pain. And you hit the nail on the head here: “raveling with a toddler is the packing equivalent of moving across country anytime you’re going more that 20 miles.” Try packing for TWO kids!!

    • I’m glad you enjoy it! 🙂

      Ugh. The puking. And the nausea. Why?! *shakes fist*

      And regarding the packing for two? A kind, “no thank you.” I have adventures of traveling with collections/groups of my 15 (15!) nieces and nephews…yeah, learned my lesson there. 😉

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