DH and I were sleeping soundly this morning when we were awoken by a very LOUD Pineapple yelling and frantically waving her arms from her bed.
“What do you need?” I asked her. “Up, pbbbtttt” she responded (which translates to “Up, please” in Pineapple-ese). So I climbed out of bed and gathered my warm, squirmy, sweet Pineapple into my arms and toted her back to our bed for continued snuggling.
After about 15 minutes of tickles, kisses, hugs and Pineapple jumping on the bed, she began to whine around her pacifier. I popped the passy out of her mouth and said “what do you need?” She said “Dn, pbbbbtttt” (which translates to “Down, please” in Pineapple-ese). So I turned her around, tummy side down, and helped her make her way to the edge of the bed and slide gently to the floor.
I was just rolling back over when I felt freezing cold hands grip me around the waist. “What do you need?!” I squeaked after removing DH’s frozen mits from my warm stomach. “About 2 more hours of sleep and to be warmer” he mumbled. So I jumped out of bed and cranked up the heat because it was a FRIGID 28 degrees in PDX this AM. “Unless you’d like to look for another job, I’m afraid there’s nothing I can do about the additional sleep” I announced as I popped out of the bedroom door and headed upstairs to check on my dad’s dog (he’s staying with us while my dad and stepmom are out of town).
The dog was staring at me from behind the baby gate. His head was resting on his paws and he was looking at me with his baleful woe-is-me doggy face. I looked at him and asked “what do you need?” He immediately jumped up and began running in circles, charging at his dog bowl. Food. Got it. After filling up his dish and mashing in his meds (he has osteocarcinoma – poor puppy), I left the much chillier kitchen/living area of my home in favor of the cozy downstairs bedroom where DH was still lounging in bed and Pineapple was practicing her walking skills around the chair.
I jumped back in bed and began warming my popsicle fingers and toes on DH’s arms and legs (payback is a beyotch, no?). I was gradually raising my body temperature from frozen to tepid when my own little doggy – a shitzu-pomeranian mix – climbed over my legs, right up to my face and began staring at me. “What do you need?” I pondered to the pooch. He lept from the bed and ran to the sliding door. Potty break – important.
I climbed out of bed (again) and made my way to the door – helping a hapless Pineapple who was head down in a toybox with her tiny feet kicking in the air retrieve a particular item along the way – and the patiently waiting puppy. After letting him out, I turned to DH and said “why do I feel like everyone is looking at me and needing something today?”
“Because you’re supermommy” he garbled from the bed.
Ahhh – and now it all becomes clear. I always knew I had super powers. SUPERMOMMY – able to burn even the most unburnable of Christmas cookies with the slightest turn of a dial! I now needed to formulate a plan and take over the world…but where to begin. I guess I’ll start with you…now what do YOU need?!