According to the Encarta World English Dictionary, a ‘platitude’ is defined as the following: a banal statement; a pointless, unoriginal, or empty comment or statement made as though it was significant or helpful.
Now I’m from the south, and I love me a good old platitude but sometimes, the definition above is a little too accurate. So this New Year’s Eve as I consider another round of resolutions, which in my case tend to be just as useless, I’ve decided to amp up some of the old platitudes I grew up with and make them my own commitments for the New Year.
Platitude #1: Surround yourself with beauty, for a thing of beauty is a joy forever. So – I’m getting a boob job. And a tummy tuck. And a butt lift. And possibly my eyes lifted. And maybe a weave. Who knows – I might go completely insane and get my nails done, too! Because believe me when I say…that whole “it takes 9 months to grow a baby and it takes just as long to reverse the damage” saying is crap. I will never be the same without major reconstructive and enhancement surgery. Now, I just have to find someone to pay for this…hey! I’ve got an idea! Anybody want to buy advertising on my site?! 😉
Platitude #2: Spend one hour every day on self improvement. Hellooooo – did you NOT see the one above? But maybe that’s not enough…and excluding the idea that this is probably talking about exercise (which, let’s get real, is just so not happening), I’m going to assume this means I should read more. I already read a lot…but more is better. And I’m going to take this to mean that I should occasionally read a book that doesn’t include a vampire or a werewolf…OK…’platitude #2′ is out.
Platitude #3: Business before pleasure. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!! HAHAHAH!!!! Did Reese Witherspoon write this one?! HAHAHAHAHA!!! OK, all kidding aside, this actually pertains to me. I absolutely cannot stand to have work that needs to be done when I’m trying to relax. This includes housework and any other task I’ve set on my agenda for the day. If those things aren’t done, I absolutely cannot relax without some margarita consumption. *sigh* Fine Mr. Platitude #3…I guess you can stay.
Platitude #4: Make everywhere you go a better place when you leave than it was when you came. Done. I’m here. I’m awesome. I created a little bundle of awesome who will one day rule the world. Done. Thank you.
Platitude #5: Be thankful. This is my actual resolution, believe it or not. Recently, I was rocking little Pineapple to sleep in my big comfy rocking chair, in the warm room with the little fireplace putting out a nice bit of heat, and getting ready to put her in her comfy bed and it hit me…Pineapple has no idea what it’s like to be cold or hungry or lonely. She doesn’t know what it feels like to sleep outside in the streets or depend on the generosity of strangers to have food in her tummy. She has the medical attention she needs when she needs it. So many children don’t. My goal for this next year is to never forget that. No matter how frustrated I get with people or work or other difficulties that may come my way…I’m going to be thankful for what I DO have. I’m going to remember that. I am.
So, what are your New Year’s resolutions? I’m curious…and I’d love to hear them…do share!
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!