What the Kate Gosselin is Going ON Around Here?!

Pineapple is officially mimicking me. She tries to say EVERYTHING that I say. Granted, she mostly fails and ends up with something that could possibly be the same thing I just said if we were basing it totally on tone and inflection; but for the most part, unless you’re looking for  a particular word, you might not catch it. That being said, the very fact that this has started happening has scared me straight.

I’m ashamed to admit this but as my aunt once said about myself and my Lil Sis…‘I sure love those girls but they have the worst potty mouths I’ve ever heard!’ And the sad part is, I have no excuse. My parents never cussed that much around us and I didn’t hang out with a ‘bad’ crowd or anything. It just slowly developed over time until cursing regularly was just part of my vernacular. Like saying ‘totally’ or ‘then HE goes, then SHE goes…’ – you get the drift.

So, in response to this new development on Pineapple’s part – and my goal of not having her show up at daycare asking ‘where the *^*&^ is my (*&^(*-ing bottle?‘ I’ve decided to make a concerted effort to curb the cussing.

Given that I’m incapable of not making loud proclamations or using SOME sort of substitute, I’ve decided to start using celebrity names as my new curse words – here is a list of my planned ‘bad’ language substitutes:

  • ‘What the KateGosselin is going on around here?!’
  • ‘Who the Heidi&SpencerPratt do you think you’re talking to?!’
  • ‘Where the DavidHasselhoff did you get your driver’s license?!’
  • ‘Who the DaisyDeLaHoya said you could DELETE Tough Love 2 from the DVR?!’
  • ‘How the RPatz am I supposed to know where you put your TaylorLautner socks?! Do I WEAR the KStew things?!’
  • ‘Who the RobertDowneyJr. ate my yogurt?!’
  • ‘No, I do not want a Brangelina sample of your perfume..thankyouverymuch.’

And then the mother of all curse words….for when you’re REALLY mad….’cause it’s kind of a stand alone….

‘BONO!!!!!!!!!’

🙂

8 thoughts on “What the Kate Gosselin is Going ON Around Here?!

  1. Sarah says:

    You can also go back a few ages or so and revert to these beauties: (think Little Women)

    -Blast!
    -Blast it all (for extra emphasis)
    -Oh Murder (Jamie’s Gma’s fave)

    Or descriptors like
    -Expletive!
    -Curse!

    • Why thank you ma’am! I’m sure I’ll have to keep changing the names over time…to be more ‘timely’ 🙂 I mean, it would be like saying today ‘why the MarkyMarkandtheFunkyBunch did you just say that?!’ ya know??? 😉

      • Meghan says:

        Perhaps when the kids are interrupting you you could say “STOP TRYIN TO KAYNE ME” or is that too obvious? heh.. My husband and I have been saying “What the KateGosselin” all day.

  2. That is awesome! To be able to affect lives this way…it’s amazing. And yes…when my niece this weekend inevitably spends 15 minutes saying “AUNTRACHAEL AUNTRACHAEL” over and over – she’s cute and I love her but oy vey! – I’m going to say “T! Stop tryin’ to Kanye my convo!” 😉

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