WHAT THE…What happened to RPatz?!

EW. EW. EW.

Just EW.

OK folks – I realize I’m too old for this crap but I just have to say this….WHAT THE HELL DID MADAME TUSSAUDS DO TO RPATZ?!

Did you SEE this nightmare?! It’s a wax sculpture that is truly terrifying!Β (FYI, MamaPop had a good post about it which you can check out here.)

[The girl in the background is not screaming in fear only because she is seeing this monstrosity from behind.]

What did they use for inspiration?! Certainly not this:

[SMOKING HOT]

Or this:

[OMG. Sparkly Vampires Rule.]

They must have been using something like this for inspiration:

[FOR. THE. LOVE! DON’T TOUCH IT!]

Or maybe this guy:

Possibly a giraffe???

I mean, really folks. Who the hell designed that neck? What on EARTH were they thinking? Too manyΒ James Cameron movies?! Are we so desperate to be aliens? What happened here? So. Confused.

Oh and FYI, just in case the casting agents are looking for someone to replace K-Stew in Breaking Dawn….I’m happy to offer my services:

[She always looks angry or depressed in the posters…I’d be all “wOOt! Check out my boys in the background…they are fiiiiiiine! Love triangles RULE!”]

Needless to say, I will not be scarring Pineapple with a trip to Madame Tussauds to see a terrifying sculpture of one of the most beautiful men alive anytime soon. <shudder>

XOXO Rachael

24 thoughts on “WHAT THE…What happened to RPatz?!

  1. While I am a fan of the Twilight movies and books. I have never been a fan of Robert and have quite vocally expressed my feeling that he was terribly miscast as Edward. My Edward, book Edward, does not look like that. Which is why I am Book Team Edward and Movie Team Jacob.

    This sculpture is terrible though. The neck is quite something else, indeed. Hopefully they leave my Taylor (who is, incidentally, legal now) alone.

    • I was honestly never an RPatz fan myself…I agree, total miscasting – my Edward is way hotter – but then I saw Remember Me…and I have to say…RPatz is pretty. He just is. IMHO. πŸ˜‰

      (Just need to throw in a GO TEAM JACOB cause HECK YEAH – and thank heaven he is finally legal b/c I was gonna seek therapy…)

      But that neck on the sculpture…REALLY?! If I were RPatz I’d be like “Look Madame T…I’ll PAY to have that redone – that is terrible.”

      Seriously.

  2. fokxxy says:

    hahah. That post made me giigle uncontrollably. Love it. I didn’t even notice the neck part until you pointed it out haha.

  3. Bay says:

    Omgee! I loved this!! I’m at a blogger event & just had to pass my phone around for everyone to see & laugh’
    That statue is terrible 😦 his neck looks ridiculous….but I just love your new poster! I’d be happy too πŸ˜‰

    • We could be the double Bellas! I’m happy to share – it is a love TRIANGLE…we can do rock, paper, scissors to decide who gets the vampire and who gets the wolf….but really, I get the wolf. πŸ˜‰

  4. Holy shitballs. That is hideous. I think that RPatz IRL is a weenie…BUT the man who plays my Edward should never be immortalized (in wax, of course) looking that freakish.
    Dammit. Get the noose…there’s gonna be a hangin’ when I find out who did this.
    And sorry…but we will have to jello wrestle for the role of Bella. Shit…I’d jello wrestle somebody to just get the job of booger wiper on that set.

    • We could jello wrestle ON the set for the roles of Bella and booger wiper…either way, we win. πŸ˜‰

      And to be clear, I get the wolf.

      Oh, and P.S. See Remember Me…I thought RPatz was a total wuss til I saw that, too…well, again..maybe I’m still buying him as a character? He DID get hit with a car last year…hmmm…yeah. He’s a weenie. But he’s a CUTE weenie!

  5. I still have not seen one of those vampire movies you keep drooling about, so thank you for including a photo of who this wax figure was supposed to be. But even not being a fan, the first thing I saw was that giant neck. Hilarious.

    But I have to disagree with your hate for the somber look that the female vampire girl always has in her photos. I think that a pouty look done right adds a few “hotness points” to any woman. It makes me think of that chewing on the lip thing Alicia Silverstone did so well back in her Clueless days. The vampire girl might not be all that attractive, but her little pissed off/pouty look thing is at least a step in the right direction.

    • ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

      She looks like she’s constantly mid-attempt in eating her own lips off! It’s annoying TO THE MAX (yes, I said to the max). And anyway, she’s not a “vampire girl” unless you mean “girl that likes vampires ala New Moon” because she’s still just a girl. A really scrawny girl. Somebody should really give her a burger and a shake.

      I’m sure KStew is a LOVELY person…but I would have been a WAY better Bella – SANS constant lip biting and + some cheerfulness. πŸ˜›

  6. Can I at least borrow the wolf?
    And I hate to be a spoiler BUT…Dan is right, technically.
    And RPatz is a cute weenie…I think the weird looking nipple shot in New Moon kinda turned me off though. There was actually laughter in the theater on the premier night when they showed him shirtless.

    • Oh – don’t make me think of the nipples!

      Yeah…in Remember Me they did a pretty decent job of keeping his shirt on.

      And no. No wolf swapping. This isn’t a time share woman. I’ll give you an Edward and 2 “support wolves” but the primary wolf if mine. πŸ˜‰ LOL!

      (P.S. This may be one of the most ridiculous – and fun – conversations I’ve ever had. hehehe)

    • Creepy is a very good word for it – NIGHTMARISH is another. I mean when you watch the Twilight movies you think “oooh he’s cute – I think I could get used to freezing cold snuggles from that hottie!” but then you look at this and think “GAH! What the?!…ewwwww….no thanks.” They got it all wrong.

      Thanks for the comment! πŸ™‚

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