Parents are forever making excuses for their kids bad behavior in public:
- “Oh, he’s just tired.” (Actually, mommy and daddy are tired, but that’s a different post.)
- “She’s teething – do you SEE those molars?! YOWZA!”
- “He’s SO hungry – that’s why he just threw that slice of pizza and his sippy cup at your head.”
- “She doesn’t like crowds – if it were less noisy, she’d be fine” (completely ignoring the fact that it is so loud because YOUR kid is screaminger her head off).
I know parents do this because I am a parent. I’ve personally pulled out some doozies to explain away why my adorable baby girl has just flung herself prone on the grocery store floor and is now kicking her legs and screaming because I wouldn’t allow her to knock over all the cereal boxes: “She’s gassy – that’s why she’s acting like this. Have you ever had bad gas? It’s painful. She just can’t articulate that.”
And is it just me, or do you also break out into a cold sweat when your kid starts to lose it in the aisles at Target? I’ve literally had to refrain from quietly pushing my cart away from my screaming child while rolling my eyes and saying “geez…those parents are seriously falling down on the job!”
And on a plane ride?! Forget about it. I’ve never had more dirty looks than while boarding a plane with my child. It doesn’t matter if she’s sound asleep or smiling and waving, you can hear the passengers’ thoughts as though they were speech bubbles floating over their heads:
Something else about this public fit throwing – aside from the immediate cold sweat and OMG PLEASE STOP BEFORE I DIE sort of feelings you get during the BF (that’s Bitch Fit)…when your kid is totally losing it…and you’re panicking…then ANOTHER kid starts to lose it, your only thought is THANK YOU LORD!!!!! Because now, you’re sharing the embarrassment.
Parents are pretty good about saying “Oh, don’t worry – all kids do it. Don’t sweat it – it’s fine, we’re perfectly capable of ignoring your kids’ screams because we ignore ours all the time!” But the non-parents are just sitting there thinking FOR. THE. LOVE. Shut that kid up! Or better yet…”When I have kids, I’ll do it better than that!”
Suuuuure you will….see you on the flip side of parenting! I promise…I’ll be nice!