Why I Suck at Math…

Well, to be fair, I’m actually pretty good at money math…you know, I always know exactly how much money I have in my bank account…but ask me to MULTIPLY?! Without a CALCULATOR???!!! Fuggetaboutit.

Anyway, I’m really bad at math. And my short term memory can be loosey goosey and I have a theory: my brain is clogged up with songs. I’m one of those people that remembers the words to just about every song – including jingles. It’s pathetic. Also, I will literally wake up during the night because a song is stuck in my head – and I CAN’T get back to sleep. Recently, I’ve been playing Guitar Hero with DH and I’ve been getting those rock songs stuck in my head – Mother – by Danzig – is particularly sticky. But it’s just in there with all the others.


Really – pick a song – how about the Klondike Bar song:

Oh that chocolatey coated ice cream loaded big and thick no room for a sti-ick..what would you do-o-o for a Klondike Bar?

Yep. Or how about something newer – You Belong With Me:

You’re on the phone with your girlfriend, she’s upset, she’s goin’ off about something that you said cause she doesn’t get your humor like I do. I’m in my room it’s a typical Tuesday night, I’m listenin’ to the kinda music she doesn’t like and she’ll never know your story like I do…

You see what I mean? What about something RANDOM and older….see if you can guess:

The seaweed is always greener, in somebody else’s lake. You dream about goin’ up there but dat is a big mistake. Just look at the world around you – right here on the ocean floor – such wonderful things surround you. What more is you looking for?


OK – and one last random one – this one is hard so I’ll give you more of it; I wonder if anyone will know this one:

Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and fight the fight. Still, I always feel the strangest strangement, nothing here is real, nothing here is right. I’ve been making shows of trading blows just hoping noone knows that I’ve been going through the motions, walking through the part. Nothing seems to penetrate my heart! I was always brave and kind of riteous, now I find I’m wavering. Crawl out of your grave, you find this fight just doesn’t mean a thing – she ain’t got that swing – thanks for noticing. She does very well with fiends from Hell but lately we can tell that she’s just going through the motions…

Seriously – I could do this all day. It’s SAD. AND IT ATE MY MATH SKILLS!

So, what are you bad at that you blame some other aspect of your personality on – or possibly your kids. I’m certain that Pineapple is responsible for some of the short-term memory loss…she quite literally ate some of my brain cells – that’s actually a scientific fact.

In the immortal words of Jon Bon Jovi…HAVE A NICE DAY!


4 thoughts on “Why I Suck at Math…

  1. Kathy says:

    Am I some sort of dork for knowing exactly where your last song lyrics came from? I obsessively watched the entire boxed set during my first pregnancy! GOOD TASTE! 🙂

    • Thanks, Kathy! It’s my favorite show of all time. Hands down. And Joss Whedon is a genius. If Pineapple had been a boy, I was lobbying for the name “Joss.” I’m afraid I wouldn’t have won but it would have been a hard battle for DH!

      And yes, you’re a nerd – so come sit by me! 🙂

  2. Funny – I’ve always had zero trouble doing multiplication or division in my head. It’s the adding and subtracting that gets me. I always try to do it in my head and then end up dragging out the calculator to double-check it. NO idea why or when that happened but it’s sad sad sad. (And I don’t even have a kid to blame it on!! 😉

    Speaking of Joss Whedon – the theme song from Firefly is frequently bouncing around in my head. Glad it’s a good one. 🙂

    • Joss Whedon’s music regularly plays front and center in my lobes…I’m particularly fonf of Xander and Anya’s “breakaway broadway hit” in “Once More WIth Feeling.” Yes, I just typed that. 😉

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