Damn. Pineapple is getting older. CRAP CRAP CRAP.
I know, I know…those of you that have tollerated me tollerating her throughout her 3rd (and most perilous for all involved) year of life will probably be saying “yay” to that one…seriously 3 year olds are evil. However, I recently realized (like a lightning bolt) that I won’t be able to hold her much longer. When I hold her, her toes dangle below my knees. You got that? My 4 YEAR OLD’s toes dangle BELOW MY KNEES. She’s HUGE! *sigh* That means she’s also getting older. So, I’m gonna do a “posterity sake” post today…deal with it (it’s not like I can find her actual baby book, ya know).
“I love you guys.”
Pineapple didn’t want to get dressed in her room all alone so she joined DH and I in our bathroom/closet area to get changed….and also to use the facilities….after we noticed her walking across the room hunched over in her very specific “I have seriously got to pee but don’t want to stop what I’m doing” way. After both of us screamed, ran in circles, and then calmed down enough to softly encourage her to take those 5 extra steps to the toilet, she demanded privacy so I went back to the counter and DH went back into the closet. A few seconds go by and DH says “You doing OK in there?” “Yep,” responds Pineapple. Then I said “I don’t hear any peeing.” “It’s coming,” says Pineapple. A few seconds go whizzing by (hehe) and we hear “Momma, daddy?” “Yesssss?” we both respond, anticipating the worst. And instead we were pleasantly surprised with “I love you guys.” *happy sigh*
Pineapple has decided that she has a hiney-butt. We have no idea where “hiney-butt” came from other than assuming that this is a conglomeration of names for her backside that arose out of a combination of instructions (i.e. “wipe your hiney”), directions (i.e. “sit down on your hiney (or butt)” depending on the mood), and threats (i.e. “do it again and you’re gonna get a butt spankin'” – reserved for when we are in dire straights and the word “STOP” has been translated to mean “RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AWAY FROM MOMMA AND DADDY IMMEDIATELY – RUN RUN RUN OR THEY WILL EAT YOU!!!!). Either way, it’s her invention, and it’s kinda cute. But it is mentioned ALLLLLLL THHHHEEEEE TIIIIIIMMMMEEE. Examples:
“I got dirt on my hiney-butt.”
“I’m shakin’ my hiney-butt.”
“Oops! My hiney-butt is cold.”
“Don’t look at my hiney-butt!”
“Hey! Look at my hiney-butt!”
You get the idea. Anyway, it’s kinda cute…but now EVERYBODY and EVERYTHING has a “hiney-butt” and anytime she can see or smack or undress a doll or catch a parent in the shower to see a hiney-butt results in 4 year-old hilarity. UNTIL you hear these words “your hiney-butt is big, Momma.” Game over kid…game. over.
“Gonna listen to your heart beep…”
Oh, Doc McStuffins. Thank you for saving us from that ballet dancing rat, Angelina, and from the seizure inducing programming of Horseland. But your time is almost up, dear. Pineapple ADORES this Disney offering – Doc McStuffins. If you are unfamiliar, “Doc” is a little girl who has a doctor for a mom and fancies herself as a doctor to her stuffed animals…which she animates with her stethoscope…and tells to ‘go stuffed’ when a parental gets near. She does check ups (“TIME FOR YOUR CHECK-UP, TIME FOR YOUR CHECK-UP”) on them and then fixes their owies/boo boos/ouchies whatevs and then they sing the “I feel better” song. It’s cute, it’s clever. Until, like DH, you realize “so this kid thinks she’s a doctor, she spends all her time alone with her stuffed animals, and she’s sure they’re talking to her? Is this a psychosis show?” Oh. yeah, that is a little weird. Also, the stuffies get all kinds of illnesses – a splinter is worth an entire episode….as are the hiccups (which now make Pineapple “sick”). A few things have fallen out of this show: 1. Pineapple has developed a healthy interest in “doctoring” – she has a cute little doctor kit and she really likes to play with it. 2. She doesn’t WANT to check up her dolls (apparently, she’s not psychotic), she wan’t to check up her parents! We are the most fit family on the planet right now per her plastic steth0scope, otoscope, and blood pressure gauge. And we’re tired of it. 3. She’s turned into a little hypochondriac – I’m not kidding. She asks for medicine all the time and does this little “ooooohhhh….shhhhhh…” sucking spit through her teeth noise if she so much as bumps her hand on the counter and says “I got a baaaad boo boo.” 4. She sings the songs. A LOT. And that would be a kind of annoying thing….except for this…there is one point during the “check up” song during which Doc says “I’m gonna listen to your heart beat, fix you up, ready to gooooo.” Well, Pineapple has translated this to a “heart BEEP.” I know, right? You have NO idea how frickin’ cute it is to have a 4 year old come at you with a pretend stethoscope saying “momma be till…I listen to your heart beep.” ACK….just OD’d on cuteness.
What can I say? She’s cute – we’re happy – life is good – and I hope it stays this way. In the meantime, I’ll continue to update my
babybook blog and maybe you’ll get a kick out of reading it. Deal? Happy weekend!