Carnivorous Pineapple in the PDX Area

DH and I have plans to take Pineapple to an open meadow this weekend to determine if she sparkles in the sunlight.

SHE BIT ME!(not in an “ouch Chaaaa-ley – that reely huuts” kinda way, either http://tinyurl.com/25evu3)

I have a tiny teeth mark bruise on my neck/shoulder area (she even went for the jugular!!). CRIPES!

My mother has informed me that this was my fault due to the fact that just prior to this chewy episode I’d been “mock eating” her tummy as she giggled. My mother believes that my “biting” her prompted her to take a chomp out of my neck. I have to disagree…I never actually BIT her – and I suspect she was looking for blood (she’d just had dinner – peas, carrots, turkey and blueberries, so she couldn’t have been hungry for anything other than my life force).

I’m doubly nervous because she hasn’t yet sprouted her canines…but when she does, if they’re extra pointy, I’ll be reaching out to Stephenie, Charlaine  and Joss for advice (the non-slaying type, of course). 

I’ll keep you all posted.

PROMOTIONAL OPPORTUNITY: In the event that Pineapple is truly a minion of the nightworld, lamia, purveyor of immortality, etc., for a small (read: GINORMOUS) fee, I will allow her to bite anyone who responds to this post with a “bite me” request – thus making you a nightwalker and immortal, as well. If she drains you dry though, you’re outta luck (no Cullens for you!) – now sign the waiver here and here…

UPDATE: So yesterday when I arrived at daycare to claim my Pineapple, I was told that she took a chomp out of one of the caregivers! *GASP!*I was then informed that they have a policy about biting and any child who aggressively bites another person at daycare (caregivers or children) more than 2 times per week for 3 weeks will be expelled. ‘AGGRESSIVELY‘???

Pineapple is 11 MONTHS OLD! She’s not ‘agressive’! She’s TEETHING! My immediate advice was “keep your hands away from her mouth” but I was instructed to have a talk with Pineapple and explain that she shouldn’t bite because it’s not nice and is inappropriate behavior….um…SHE’S 11 MONTHS OLD!!! *sigh*

So, yesterday evening, DH and I had a very long, very heartfelt chat with Pineapple about the sin of biting. And she did a great job of sitting still through our chat – of course, she was strapped into her highchair and throwing peas at us the whole time while trying to make noises with her tongue…but I think she got the message. ; )

sucked into the TWILIGHT zone

Stephanie Meyer will be the death of me. I will blame her for my loss of job, loss of relationships and loss of my child’s early years. She and the Cullen clan will be responsible for my demise. And WHAT A WAY TO GO!

I actually began reading the Twilight series when the very first book came out. I happened to be finishing up my master’s degree and working in a bookstore part-time and the teenage girls that FLOODED the store when the paperback version came out were INSANE. So naturally, I thought that I should be “down with the kids” (yes, I just said that) and read these books (because Lord knows manga was never an option). I was completely sucked in from the first paragraph. By the time the other books started coming out, I was sickly, deathly addicted. I also have this habit of rereading prior books in a series when a new one comes out – just so the story is fresh in my mind and I’m not missing any neat little details (this has proven to be a very bad habit when reading Charlaine Harris’ Sookie Stackhouse series…I think she’s on book 15 or something insane like that…but I digress). Year-before-last for Christmas, I asked for the entire series in hard-back and received it (THANK’S SANTA!). *sigh* The rest of my holiday was spent in a chair in the corner reading them for the 3rd time. Of course, this was pre-Pineapple and I had way more time on my hands than I realized.

Most recently, my friends have started really getting into the series. I have so much fun talking to them about the books, the Cullens, the werewolves (or are they…) and our life-sucking facination with these books. The end result of these conversations with my friends is that I was compelled to read the entire series again. A daunting task when you have a FT job, a DH and a Pineapple, all needing attention. Thankfully, Pineapple is mostly sleeping through the night and goes down fairly early, DH is just as addicted to Call of Duty as I am to these books (anybody need a free copy of Call of Duty – just send me your address and it’s YOURS), so I have plenty of time to read before bed.

I’m now done with this round of rereading. Loved every minute of it. But now…I’m having DREAMS about the Cullens. Believe me when I say, I am much, much, much to old to be dreaming about teenage vampires and young girls who are in love with them. Too. Old. Buuuuuut I just can’t help it. It’s such a guilty pleasure and so few of those are available to me right now.

So, if you – like me – are a mommy (new or old) and just need a fun, healthy outlet, these books are a GREAT option. If you’re thinking “no way – those are for teenagers!” then I encourage you to embrace your inner braces-wearing, awkward and gangly youth and get over yourself! Who CARES who they are written for? Who cares who they are marketed to?! Believe me, these books are just what you need. And if you are truly able to put the book down and walk away after the first page – then I’m sure Nora Roberts has something that you might enjoy. (She’s great, too!)

Sookie Books are Better Than True Blood

Sorry to say this but I am a die-hard, longtime Charlaine Harris fan – and the True Blood series on HBO does NOT do the Sookie Stackhouse books justice!

I recently finished the latest installment in the series – Dead and Gone – and LOVED it (as I knew I would). Once again, Sookie is stuck in the middle of a murder mystery and hopefully, she won’t be next. I love the anecdotes about her mindreading – all the disgraceful things she hears – much more chilling than what Edward Cullen supposedly hears (cat?! – but love him) – and then there’s the romance and intrigue and Eric…*sigh*…Eric. But alas, HBO will turn my romantic, sexy, funny, entertaining book into a sex fest that I’m embarrassed to watch with my parents present – and I’m definitely old enough that I shouldn’t be embarrassed but nevertheless, I will be red-cheeked.

So – just in case you’ve seen the show and contemplated getting the books, I say GO FOR IT! The books are amazing and you’ll see so much more depth to the characters and so many more plots unfold (that actually make sense, unlike the whole Tara thing in Season 1 – blech).