“No” and Other Curse Words

I’m banning the word “no” from the English language…it’s a revolution…who’s with me?!

Oh Pineapple, Pineapple, Pineapple….why oh why must you say “no” alllll thheeeee tiiiiimee?

She seriously says no constantly. I’m not sure I can take it. This morning, she came over to my bed and reached up and when I tried to pick her up and snuggle her, she lowered her arms and said “no kickle!” (Pinapple-ease for “no tickle”). It was friggin’ adorable but it made me wonder…do I tickle her that much?

Half the time when she says “no” she follows it with “daddy” (i.e. “no daddy”). That’s fine – I say no to daddy a lot myself 😉 – but when she says it, she could be saying it to the cat or the heater that just kicked on…it’s like the word “no” is just naturally followed by the word “daddy.” It’s starting to upset daddy to say the least. (I think it’s funny but don’t tell.)

The worst is when she’s getting in the car. I’ll try to pick her up and put her in and all you hear is “nooooooooo!!!!!!” – not because she doesn’t want to get in the car…because she doesn’t want to get in her car SEAT. I’ve written about this before – and yes, the eagle call is still in full force.

At dinner time: “Pineapple, take a bite.” “NO!” “yes, take a bite.” “NO DADDY!” (I’m the one giving it to her.)

At the park: “OK Pineapple only 1 more and then we have to go.” “NOOOOOO!” and then she’ll run off and pout before she even gets the last turn! Where is logic when you need it?!

Getting out of the bath: “Come on Pineapple – time to get out.” “No.” (This said from the far corner of the bathtub.) “Yes, Pineapple. You  have to get out and get dried off and dressed.” “No.” (This said from the bottom of the tub where she has now spread her scrawny little body, tummy down, and is attempting to grip the sides so as not to be removed.) “Pineapple, I’m not kidding. It’s time to get out now. Come on.” (Said as I lift her from the tub – fingers squealing on the siding all the way.) “NOOOOOOOO!!!!” (Followed by intense sobbing as if we told her that there is no Santa Clause or Easter Bunny and BTW, peanut butter and jelly are now considered a sin and so therefore are verboten. In other words, full-scale meltdown.)

The BEST though, is when she randomly throws a “thank you” on there. “Pineapple, would you like an apple?” “No, tank oo.” Yep – those are the best ones…just wish they were more common!

On another note, Pinapple and I joined her school at the pumpkin patch the other day. It was a lot of fun and Pineapple enjoyed the heck out of it – running all around and squealing at the animals (occasionally licking a pen to my abject horror). It was great. Then I started talking to the parents…they said “oh what is your daughter’s name” and I told them and they said “oh is her last name X”? “Yeeeessss.” I hesitantly replied. “Oh – we hear her name like that all the time! First AND last – from our perfectly behaved well-mannered that has probably never said no before in their life or thrown themselves prone on the ground in the mud upon being told that no they could not take a pig home with them child.” Niiiice. So does that mean that all the kids hear at school is “Pineapple X!” ???

I’m glad she’s strong and independent and knows what she likes. I just wish manners would accompany that and I wish that the word no would just die a horrible, painful death. Worst word EVER.

What’s your worst word ever? 

XOXO Rachael

No Tank Yoo

Pineapple is opinionated. Oh, yes she is. She is so full of opinions that they are spilling out in the form of tantrums, hugs, and most often, the phrase “no, tank yoo.” (That’s Pineapple-ese for “No, thank you” in case you needed a translation.)

We hear the word “NO!” frequently. Only it’s more like “nooooooooooo” – this terrible drawn-out refusal to do what has been asked, eat what has been given, or stop doing what she shouldn’t. We’re hearing it so much that at this point, rather than telling her “you’d BETTER do it!” we simply say “it’s no, thank you, Pineapple.” To which she happily responds, “no, tank yoo.” See?! We’re totally picking our battles…I’m so thinking that we’ll win the war…cause you know, those are totally winnable…but I digress…

I’m not sure what sort of stick she sat upon in the recent weeks but this kid is driving me crazy. When she’s not screaming and having a fit or literally walking in circles whining, she’s moving items from one area to another. For example, I watched her spend 20 minutes the other day removing all of the items from her drawer and placing them in the living room…sorting them….then moving them all back to the drawer. I put my foot down when she started to repeat the process on another drawer.

And yesterday, when I was picking her up from daycare, there was a baby visiting – well, the baby was with its parent who was picking up an older sibling – and when I walked in the door, there was Pineapple, harrassing standing over a baby smiling up at me, pointing at said baby and exclaiming “yook buby!!!” (That’s Pineapple-ese for “Look Mom, there is the cutest baby RIGHT HERE! OMG I’m totally gonna hug and squish and squeeze it! Help me get it out of this binding device..I think it’s some sort of safety harness – oh no, it’s stuck! Look, there’s a baby!“) So when the baby, inevitably, left….well, how do I put this?…Pineapple totally lost it. Have you ever seen an angry monkey in the zoo flinging its poo at people? Well, we weren’t far  from a full-blown poo flingin.’ It was so bad that the caregiver looked at me with “pity face” and said “we have a time out corner if you’d like to use it.” Yeah…it was that bad. Apparently, Pineapple thought that particular baby should be going home with her. This is the same kid who looked at me as if I’d committed the ultimate betrayal when I held a baby at church on Easter Sunday…fickle kid.

I guess, to be fair, I should talk about some of her cuter recent moments…given that one day she’ll probably read this and all and it might save me at least a few dollars on the therapist’s chair:

• The other day, she awoke at 5AM and I heard “mama – mama – mama” and found her standing in her bed, lifting out her blankie, reaching for me. It was early, so I put her in bed with DH and me. She promptly fell asleep. I woke up about 45 minutes later with a little hand wiggling around on my neck and a tiny voice saying “tick-oo, tick-oo, tick-oo.” (No translation necessary, I’m sure.) Needless to say, it was A-dorable.
• We went to the local Farmer’s Market last Saturday and Pineapple accepted samples from nearly every vendor with a very clearly spoken and cuter-than-cute-can-be “tank yoo.” The vendors all responded with a resounding “she is soooo cute!” Well, duh. But we always take compliments!
• The dog was barking the other day and Pineapple marched right up to him, put her tiny fists on her wee hips, shook her head, then waggled her finger at him saying, “no, no, no puppy!” *swoon*
• She tries to say “I love you.” Enough said.